Monday, June 11, 2007

In Case You Missed It...

...The Sopranos ended last night. For those of you who missed the last eight years of the show, I'll summarize what you missed.
8 hours of Tony dealing with issues of inadequacy with his children.
8 hours of Tony dealing with issues of inadequacy with his wife.
19 hours of Tony dealing with issues of inadequacy with his therapist.
6 hours of Tony dealing with issues of inadequacy with his mistress.
7 hours of Tony dealing with issues of inadequacy with his mother.
A lot of people getting whacked as a result of his inadequacies.
5 hours of Tony sleeping.
37 hours of Tony eating (solo or with friends and family).

Of course, this is just a guess. To be fair, I watched the show four times and each time I was bored silly. What it produced, culturally, was the real phenomenon. I waited tables in New York during its apex (before it jumped the shark with the dream sequence), and thanks to the Sopranos it gave every guy from New Jersey, who even thought he looked Italian, to behave badly in public. In fact, it gave every male who had even heard of New Jersey the same excuse. To compound the matter, their girlfriends all watched Sex in the City. So, when they would dine out, they would all order cosmos. Imagine a muscle-bound meat-head with slick-backed black hair, acting tough, like a hit man, sipping on a pink cocktail. That is my memory of 2002 and 2003.

Oy.

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